Final Blog Post

Final Blog Post

I wanted to take this section specifically because of the sub-topic. “Documenting Your World” really interested me because I do have an unwavering belief that we all create ourselves throughout our experiences. I’m not the most technological person, but I did extremely enjoy the several projects we had through the semester. I found myself really pouring my entire being into these projects, and I’m not sure why. Perhaps it is because I have been practicing art for a large portion of my life, and self-expression is a great kind of art that can be expressed through writing. This semester as a whole I have grown as a person, because of several events occurring in my life which I have tried to let influence me. Troubles with my mother and her personal problems, troubles at home with my parents and sister, a cluttered mind (which, I will always believe is better than an idle mind), and I’ve been trying to make the best out of a very dimly lit past couple of months. This class was a great outlet for expression, largely in part because of my professor’s enthusiasm for life and willingness to put herself out there so that we realize we shouldn’t be ashamed of our little –isms but be prideful of them because they make us different than everyone else. I have grown as an artist because of the compassion I have seen that has gone into teaching this class. Professor Labrie cares about each and every one of us and understands that while we all may not be majoring in creative writing, there is still some holistic education that we can all receive from the topics that we are learning about in class. The multi-media spin on the class was a really interesting and inclusive take that I feel made the class 100% more interesting. Being a millennial, the presence of technology is something that must be embraced, not avoided, and the projects were very well designed for us. We were given loose instructions, and then given freedom to pursue whatever it was that we wanted to. This was especially true of the final project, which we are going to be viewing in class later today. I’m really excited to get a look into the lives of my classmates, because each project is sort of a presentation of a person’s passions or interests to the entire class. Through the assembling of this project, the podcast project, and the poetry project, I have become very aware of how each word we choose to include in a piece of work must be carefully chosen, because although words may have similar or even exact meanings, the connotations that the words have can have profoundly different effects on members of the viewing audience. I have also learned several valuables pieces of information about the way writing works. A story always occurs on the day that something happens. Otherwise, there’s no story. Also, every detail of a story is important. Whether the dog is a pit bull or a Chihuahua is extremely telling of a person’s personality, and it must be approached with areful consideration of the character, their voice, and their personality. I want to thak you, Professor Labrie, for a fabulous semester full of analysis, expression, and creativity. J

Fullest

Fullest

Free Write

Define Authentic and what it means to me?

Authenticity is something that gives people a breath of fresh air. In conversation, it is the ability to undeniable and true to oneself, their points of view, their characteristics, beliefs, thoughts, and actions.

How does one determine self?

The self, I feel is always there. It is constantly constructed by one’s life. Specific events, specific people, and how we interact with them determines who our self is. George Bernard Shaw says “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

The self is constantly under construction, and it is quite rare that we find someone who is completely satisfied with themselves. Self is demonstrated through thoughts, words, actions, habits, character, and destiny. In that order.

List:

1.    People I’ve admired as a kid

a.    My Mom, my Step-Mom, my mother’s grandmother, my Aunt Dana and Aunt Jenn, my Uncle Jeremey

2.    Theatre Shows I’ve been in / directed:

a.    Bye Bye Birdie, Peter Pan, H2$, Paper Mill Show Choir & Conservatories, 4 Showcases, 3 Murder Mysteries, Grease, Wedding Singer, Young Frankenstein, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Bare, Into the Woods, Legally Blonde, Cabaret, Little Shop of Horrors

3.    Boys I’ve had crushes on:

a.    Sasha, Jake, Mike, Joe, Brandon, Evan, Kevin,Justin,Jared, Timmy, David, Nathan, Jonah, Randy

Description:

Jake, Amy Trapani, Aseem

Jake : Sturgis…., parents were religious, very informal. Tom + Terry were their names, they may have been having a hard time financially. I remember they always had a very serious attitude and would talk to Jake very sternly. Jake’s life was differently mainly in only one aspect. He was very religious and went to church every Sunday, did several things for his church. I’ve never been to church and am very thankful because it allowed me to find my own beliefs and values instead of having certain beliefs recited into me from the day I was born. 

Amy: She was a very playful and funny little girl. She didn’t have divorced parents. Her mother was very prominent in her life, I think she was a PTA classroom mom. She would always come in and help out during class events. I think about how I always wished my parents were able to do that but my father was busy working and my mother was … who knows.

Aseem was probably the person that I was the most different from. His familiar upbringing was much different than mine, probably on the basis of religion, home life, and many other things. He’s Indian, and him, Jake, and I were best friends from 3^rdgrade on. He unfortunately moved in 4^thgrade, but I called him about once a week for a couple months, until we finally lost touch. 

Scenes

Preparing for Audition:

            I usually prepare by rehearsing by myself for an hour or two beforehand to make sure that I am satisfied with how everything goes before I show it to someone else. Being onstage is something that I love to do because I get to showcase my talent, as well as have the eyes of the entire audience on me watching my every move. Some would find it scary, but it’s eventually rewarding when they applaud for you at the end of every scene. My last show that I was in featured me as Kyle in Legally Blonde, an extremely provocative male character that worked for UPS. He wore super short shorts and a tight shirt that showed off his body. Unfortunately, this was not the lead and I didn’t want this part but the mindset was that “no one else could play the part” so it was given to me. I even said I didn’t want to be considered for it and they still called me back for it. Eventually, I decided to give into it because I thought I would still enjoy the show. That turned out not to be the case for a multitude of reasons, including the last boy on the list of boys I’ve had a crush on.

Moment of Self-Doubt

            A recent moment of self-doubt stood when one of my professors asked us to critique a fellow classmate. Constructive criticism, of course Because the girl was my friend and I knew that she wouldn’t be offended, I raised my hand and offered a piece of advice saying that a specific thing she did wasn’t the best and that she could improve in that area. Immediately, I felt the eyes of several dozen people burning into every inch of me. I felt that people had mistaken my honesty and yearn for my friend to grow as an attempt to publicly shame her or humiliate her because I knew more than her, which I do not. I believe I even made a comment similar to “That’s not a mean comment, it’s being honest! We all have things that we need to work on.” But I feel the atmosphere was more of “How could he say that, he isn’t perfect either!”

Reflection

            I feel I am very different from the soul that I was when I was younger. The little nuances I had just begin discovering in myself have grown and made me feel as though I am different from every other person I come into contact to. Perhaps it is because I am obsessed with the aspect of uniqueness, and pride myself on being unique. I tend not to focus on the similarities but the differences, because the differences that set us apart from everyone else. It makes us unique, and since there will only ever be one of me in the entire history of the world, I should always focus on what makes me different rather than the same as others. My fear of death pokes its ugly head into the conversation just about now, as I’m sure that it ties into me yearning for differences. I will continue to ponder, analyze, and criticize myself .

Slumdog Millionaire Camera Shots

The movie I chose to watch over break was Slumdog Millionaire. I watched it today on Thanksgiving, which really put into perspective a lot. The children on the show are living in an extremely different world than we are, and the living conditions are really shown through the use of the camera styles. The movie takes place in Mumbai, a place that many Americans are probably not familiar and the extensive use of long shots helps to portray the world that the characters in the movie grew up on. During the chase scene that occurs at the beginning of the movie, it pans out at a specific moment to show the rooftop of every house in what looks to be about a 3-mile radius, each house having the exact same rooftop, with one each and every house piled up right on top of the next one. I believe that this shot in its own is the best demonstration that helps put Americans in the minds of the characters. This was their childhood, their neighborhood, their entire life. The birds-eye-view here is great to what their life looks like as if it were to be seen from overhead. Similarly, there was another long shot after the main character’s hometown was raided. After he fled with his brother, they watch their village burning from on top of a hill several miles away. This seems to be a great shot to establish setting among other things. On the opposite spectrum, the close up has a purpose that speaks mainly to one specific character – as opposed to setting the scene for an entire group of people. It is used for purposes of drama, to show the true feelings of a person by putting the viewer so close physically to the character, we are able to see truly into the minds of the character and what they were / are / are going to face. Since the show is about an 18- year old on a game show, each question that he knows the answer to takes us to a time in his life when he learned of the answer. Typically, after a dramatic trip into how he found the answer, the camera returns us to the present day with a dramatic close-up shot of the main character, deep in thought (or regret, or hurt). The shot is mostly used for emotional purposes, while the extreme long shot is used for setting. The over-the-shoulder shot is a common shot used when people are in conversation, and it occurs with the main character and his brother a lot when they are communicating face to face. Other shots that are not about the relative distance of a person include the eye level shot, high angle, low angle. Jamal and Salim visit the Taj Mahal, and the use of the low angle shot portrays exactly what Jamal says to his brother when they first say the Taj Mahal: “Is this heaven?” Jamal and Salim’s positive view of being rich is shown through the use of them both looking up at the Taj Mahal. This shot and its opposite, the high angle view also show perspective from the character as well when they are on top of a roof, standing below a high building.

Looking up different types of camera shots and watching this movie has shown me the importance of using specific camera shots to get a point across, whether it be from the characters point of view, their view of something, or to help tell the story.

Final Project Proposal

Title: The Never-ending Path to Self-Improvement

Theme/Concept: A man who is obsessed with self-improvement sits down anyone from acquaintances to his closest friends and asks that they tell him their least favorite thing (biggest flaw) about him.

Genre: Non-fiction

Synopsis: Since my obsession is basically impossible to receive ultimate satisfaction from, it is an important one nonetheless. There are a couple of traits that I pride myself on: the ability to make analytical decisions, the ability to be myself whole-heartedly, the fact that I am not afraid of what anyone has to say to or about me, and the fact that I am constantly striving to be the best person I can be. I have the belief that while I don’t necessarily care what other people say of me, it is important to be able to self-evaluate and self-assess oneself if the self is ever going to improve. Like most people, I eventually become trapped in the mindsets that I have created for myself. By gaining outsider’s perspectives about myself, I believe it will allow me to see myself in a new light, one that could potentially show me enlightenment about the ways in which I have been carrying myself. It is such an important concept that, although it can be extremely tiring mentally, should be taken seriously.

Video Style: The video will be filmed in hopefully one location. There will be a series of shots showing me at a table, waiting, and the people telling me my flaws seating across from the table, getting ready to share with me their least favorite parts. As the project goes on, I will appear to get more and more tearing of hearing the flaws of myself. The people sharing these flaws with me though will have their words come through as brash, bold, assertive, and unapologetic. There could also be very different approaches towards how people tell me my flaws as well. I am unsure whether I want people to be unapologetic, bold, brash, or if I should have them let their personalities leak through...

Breakdown: Beginning with one of my best friends, and then progress through the relationships of me and several others as they all tell me my flaws. At times, I may try and interject, only to be told that I asked and I should listen if I really want to improve.

Target Audience: Anyone with the interest of improving themselves, or anyone in general, because the concept is one that may cause some amount of people to be happily uncomfortable (because of course, this isn’t happening to them) The hope is that the audience will have a “schadenfreude”-esque attitude towards the entire situation, and will leaving the video laughing

Objective: Show people that the path towards self-improvement is often never able to be completely fulfilled, but also that it shouldn’t stop you form attempting to better yourself if you ave a yearning to do so.

Setting: The video will take place in ideally one location, switching between shots of me and the others telling me my flaws.

Length: approximately 7-8 minutes.

Obsession

Everyone has an obsession. Some are very tangible things such as baseball cards, or a television show like The Bachelor, or a person such as their significant other. My obsession, I’d say is rather unfamiliar. It’s an obsession that has been the cause of numerous difficult conversations, therapy sessions, and ruined relationships. I am obsessed with improving myself. 

It’s actually quite strange, my ego’s fluctuation between grandeur and mediocrity. I have always been aware of my flaws, but for some reason my ego still remains as high and mighty throughout most days. After returning to therapy this past summer in an effort to declutter my mind and reinstate some self-love into my life, I realized that a substantial part of why I have been unhappy recently is because of the way I treat others and myself. As truly corny as it does sound, my goal in life is to be happy. I’m so grateful that I am not motivated by money or power, but by passion in helping me to choose a career path. Since I have journaled for about three years now, I have found dozens of quotes that have made their impact on me. One revolves around being a teacher and says, “People often dream of changing the world, but don’t realize the effect that changing one person can have. Changing one single person is changing the world, for inside of every person there is an entire world.” And in order to change people and have the most beneficial impact on them, I need to constantly be changing myself and my world. I have somehow become passive in dealing with the flaws I have. I understand that they are there, and at times I am grotesquely disturbed by some thoughts I have, some ways I handle situations, and some things I say out loud. I try my best to remember quotes that really resonate with me at times of difficulty, but I feel that I am too undisciplined to truly stick to the almost daily new mindset that I am trying to apply to my life. Here are some that I’ve come up with most recently:

1)    In an effort to make myself get out of tired, unmotivated rut I’ve been in academically,“Other people have to wake up and go to a job. You get to wake up and sing every day! How lucky!”

2)    In an effort to make myself wake up early, succeed, and seize control of every second I have alive, because I am ghastly afraid of death, “You’re dying every second. Get up and make your life worth something.”

3)    In an effort to get myself to understand that I shouldn’t be so judgmental of others, “Just as others don’t know what you’re going through, you have no idea what others are going through.”

4)    In an effort to be continually improve upon myself, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” –George Bernard Shaw

You see, my therapist told me to bring in a list of flaws with me for the following session. Only 30 minutes beforehand, I was able to come up with 37 flaws about myself. I hope maybe one day I will be satisfied with the person I am, though I don’t know if I ever will be. While this may seem terribly troubling that I could never be satisfied, it doesn’t mean that I won’t be happy with myself. Another quote decides to weigh in by saying, “It’s about progress, not perfection.” And that’s exactly what I believe.

Podcast Project

https://youtu.be/asmkrJGMnrs